my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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