Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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