Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Someone signed my nipple.
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