Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
