Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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