It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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