Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
