So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
