So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
