Having a random hookup so left but love u
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
