Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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