One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
