I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize