We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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