He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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