Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's always time for handjobs
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
