I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
