why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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