He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize