I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
