I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
