Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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