every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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