I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
