I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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