her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize