She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
