How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize