I wannas sexs uuuuu
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
