If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
