Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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