They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
