3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
