it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
wow bdsm is so cute
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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