She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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