I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
