Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
