bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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