best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
