I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
