He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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