It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Randomize
