Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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