All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
