Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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