you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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