I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
