and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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