My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
