I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This toilet bowl is my home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize