she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
