What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
