there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
