I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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