he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
