Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will be naked everywhere
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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