Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
