so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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