I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
