Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize